BOOK REPORT
MOUTHY ISSUE THREE
September 2003
by Ian C Stewart

GENE SIMMONS
Sex Money KISS
New Millennium Press
Hot on the heels of his first book, KISS And Make-up, comes Gene Simmons's second attempt at being an author. Ostensibly a self-help book, Sex Money KISS contains several truths Simmons holds to be self-evident, which he spends the majority of the book repeating and restating. The problem with an author owning his own publishing house becomes clear when no one bothers to edit a book. The majority of the pages contain variations on themes of staying true to oneself and refusing to get married. Continually and repeatedly proclaiming that all men want the same things from all women - unless they're gay. In Simmons’s world, men exist only to fuck chicks and make money, preferably at the same time. Women hate his guts but still want to fuck him and spend his money. Mom is god but women are just a big financial headache. Sex Money KISS is very poorly written and it doesn't look like anyone too the time to edit it. To which a sane person might respond "what did you expect?" The thing is, KISS And Make-up was very well written and edited and it made sense as a linear story. Sex Money KISS is more like a bunch of Gene Simmons laundry lists with much of the material repeated. There’s also precious little of the shit-slinging with other members of KISS we’ve come to enjoy. Instead he refers to the late head of Casablanca Records, Neil Bogart - misspelling his first name in every case. “I saw a band in a Washington, D.C. club called Angel. When the band came offstage, I called Neal Bogart and urged him to sign the band.” Meanwhile, thirty five pages later, he recounts “I was so impressed [by Angel] that during one of their breaks I got on the phone with our own Casablanca Records president Neal Bogart and raved about the band.” Chapter six is maddeningly entitled "Women Are From Mars... Men Have Penis." What the fuck is that supposed to mean? That doesn't even make sense. Sex Money KISS is somewhat redeemed by the usual smattering of never-before-seen photos, but is it worth it? You might think so if you can deal with headlines like "I Say Humble Be Damned."
Ian C Stewart




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